The Final Random Sibling Battle

“Once upon a time… No. Once upon a Saturday? …No. I know! …wait, this ain’t gonna work…” Mack was busy trying to write a story but it’s more like trying to type a story. He has been on the typewriter all morning but he can’t bring himself on even making a decent beginning for whatever story he was trying to create. “I guess I’m losing it”, he said to himself. “I better do something else otherwise I might go insane.” He said this while trying to reach for his coffee mug but because of his awkward sitting position, he clumsily fell off his chair and onto the floor which resulted on a loud crashing noise. The next thing he knew, the typewriter he was using followed suit and headed straight to his face. He just closed his eyes because he knew that he was about to experience an excruciating pain which would be in effect for a couple of minutes. “Kabriiiiiiing!” Oh… that has to hurt!

After recovering from the pain of the typewriter hitting his face, he quickly placed the heavy machine on the table. This was his partner for many years now and although a bit rusted, it was still on good working condition. He looked on the clock and he knew he was never going to make it for today’s deadline. He scratched his head once more and decided to do something productive while the sun is still burning brightly in the sky. But there is one problem- he was a lazy bum and could not even bring himself on even getting up on the floor where he lay. He then smelled something burning, like someone was trying to cook something but turned into a terrible mess. Because of this he was on his feet and dashed madly into the kitchen. Yes, something was definitely burning, and black smoke filled the area. He quickly grabbed the fire extinguisher and put out the flames. After that he checked the remains of the kitchen to see how bad the damage is only to find his little brother, whose name is Mack, covered with soot.

“What have you been doing?” asked Tom.

“Cooking,” the little brother weakly replied while staring in the ceiling.

“It’s more like you were trying to torch down the entire house,” he said sarcastically.

“No! I was not trying to do that! I was just trying to teach myself how to cook. I followed the recipe and then next thing I know, it was already burning,” protested the little brother whose eyes were still fixed on the ceiling.

“Clean up this mess before Mom and Dad comes back,” he said as he gave his little brother a mop and a pail.

“And try to lose that business suit you are wearing! You are just at home!”

Indeed, Mack was wearing a suit but it actually is his father’s suit and since it was obviously too big for him, he practically looked like a walking clutter while dragging the clothes he was on.

Tom went back to his room and tried to gather his thoughts. His little brother is trying to kill him with his shenanigans just because his parents were out. And the only thing his little brother was trying to cook was disaster. He tried to type something on the typewriter but he heard an annoying sound. He tried to ignore it but the sound kept on repeating itself; first slowly then it became faster and faster. Because of this Mack lost his patience and went out of his room to investigate where the noise was coming from. He checked first the kitchen if it was already clean. It was spotless. Then he went to see where the annoying noise was and found his little brother playing his toy drum.

“What are you doing?” asked Tom.

“Playing drums,” came the weak reply while staring in the ceiling.

“Well, I know you are playing drums, and I can see that, but it’s more like you are just making a noise instead of making music.”

“It can’t be helped!” said his little brother. I’m just a beginner and I need to practice this so that I can get better.”

“Alright, let’s put it this way; you are just making an annoying noise and I it is giving me a headache. Will you please do your drumming outside?”

“That’s not fair!” protested the little brother. “I’ll call my lawyer and file a case against you for child abuse! You will be ruined and you will pay me all of your allowance for the damages!”

The 15 year old kid popped a vein about what he heard and held out a fist in anger but he calmed down because he was the older brother and it’s his duty to be a logical person who never loses his wits under any circumstances.

“Mack,” he began slowly. “I want you to go outside and play, NOW.”

“But I want to play here in my room.”

Quick as a flash, Tom lifted his little brother and brought him outside into their lawn despite its struggles and protests.

“Now be a good little boy and play nicely, and don’t make trouble, understand?”

“I understand,” was Tom’s weak reply while looking in the bright blue sky.

Mack went back to the house and as he was walking past the living room, something hit him; it was not some sort of unidentified flying object or mystical creature like unicorns or behemoths, but the “thing” he was waiting all morning which never came.

“Eureka!” Tom shouted. “I finally know what to write for my story!” Because of this he went back to his room as if his bottom was in fire and typed madly on the typewriter like there’s no more tomorrow. Unfortunately, his moment of typing ecstasy was interrupted by another annoying noise, much to his dismay. He tried to ignore the noise as much as he could, but it won’t just stop. He was getting very annoyed because he knew exactly who the perpetrator of the crazy deed was. “He just won’t stop, won’t he?” he said to himself as a vein popped in his head. He held out a fist in anger and stormed out his room because he knew his little brother was doing something really insane, and he was right.

He saw his little brother riding the neighbor’s bull on their very own lawn and what is worse is that all his neighbors were watching the insane act. Tom only wanted to have a peaceful holiday but looks like he will have to wait until summer vacation and go to that camp he always used as a refuge away from all this chaos that is ensuing. Ah, yes. He can imagine it now… the summer camp during summer vacation, the big lake, the happy faces of his classmates which are also his camp mates, the beautiful counselor, always there with her beautiful smile… not to mention with her radiant long hair that reached her knees, a bodacious body evident of her hour glass figure plus a giant rack that goes up and down with her every movement that can melt any camper’s heart just by looking at it… did I mention also that her voice is so gentle and breathy like Mamiko Noto’s? “Ah, Ms. Counselor whose name I haven’t been able to get yet, please wait for me!”

“Summer Vacaaaaaaaaatioooon! Come to me!” as he screamed inside his head. Unfortunately, his delusion was cut short by the shaking of his shoulder courtesy of his neighbor who incidentally owns the bull. “Boy, your little brother is riding my bull again without my permission,” started Mr. Et, the Chinese mogul who is the owner of 12 noodle restaurants in the city where they currently reside.

“Im sorry Mr. Et for what my little brother is currently doing. I will make sure he gets a sound beating, err… I mean sound scolding after this crazy stunt.”

“Well, you need to stop the bull first before we can get to Mack,” said Mr. Et. “Otherwise, we may never retrieve him in one piece because sooner or later, he will fall off from riding that bull and once he gets trampled by that 4 legged, 30000 pound powerhouse of a locomotive… say, can we put him back together using Elmer’s Super Glue just in case he gets crushed?”

Tom suddenly broke a cold sweat; he cannot face his parents with Mack glued together using super glue and lifeless at the same time. While he was planning on how to save Mack, the little brother seem to be enjoying his bull ride like a cowboy riding a horse, only that his steed has horns and is dyed black. He kept waving to Tom assuring him he was having the time of his life which made Tom wear a frown while waving back angrily. Tom lost no time and grabbed a cloth in his pocket. He stepped boldly in the path of the raging bull and waved out the cloth madly as if he was trying to get its attention. “Whoa, Toro!” he yelled ridiculously while all his neighbors looked at him by surprise. The cloth was red just to let you know.

“This kid will get murdered by that bull,” all the neighbors thought at the same time. While the bull was rushing directly at him, Tom saw his neighbors were betting (which slightly distracted him) to see if he will live or get owned by the bull.

“I’ll bet 50 Php he will get owned by the bull!” said Neighbor A.

“I bet 100 Php he will survive being massacred by that foul beast!” chimed Neighbor B.

“I bet 2000 Php the bull will hit his sorry butt first!” screamed Neighbor C with his tongue swaying indiscriminately.

“Alright, any more bets?” asked Mr. Kyu, the local gambler who likes to bet on almost anything. “Oh, Aunt Owa, came here to bet on what will happen to your nephew?” he said this as he turned his gaze to an elder person with white hair. “What? You want me to lean near you? Okay, what is it? Ow! You don’t need to hit me that hard! What? Stop this nonsense? But I’m making a killing here! I can’t stop now!”

“Hey! NO BETTING!” screamed Tom at the top of his lungs. And that was the last thing he uttered. He saw himself flying toward the air as if his body was as light as feather all in glorious slow motion.

“I die never seeing my homeland,” whispered tom before he blacked out.

“Tom.”

“Tom.”

Someone was calling his name (isn’t it obvious, duh.). He finally opened his eyes after a few seconds only to find the camp counselor right in front of him wearing a tank top and short shorts.

“Ms. Counselor, what are you doing here?” said Tom in a panicky voice. “It’s not even summer vacation yet!”

“I saw your heroic deed earlier and was very impressed about what you did.” said the counselor in her gentle and breathy voice. “Only a few people would save their little brother from a raging bull like that. You were so sexy while your body was thrown in mid-air and spinning at the same time that I really cannot take it anymore…” She said this as she was nearing the bed where Tom lay. He could feel his heart beat louder and louder as the counselor neared him inch by inch. Closer and closer the counselor came and the temperature Tom felt became unbearable. Tom was so surprised when the counselor gave her a gentle hug. It felt warm and Tom was so sure he was about to disintegrate.

“Tom, are you okay?”

“Yes, Ms. C-C-C-coun-sel-or” said Tom is a shaky voice.

“Oh Tom, you are so cute when you are shaking like that!” giggled the counselor.

Before Tom could reply the counselor closed her eyes and slowly neared Tom’s face for a kiss.

“Chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…” said the counselor in glorious onomatopoeia.

“I think I’m gonna die now,” whispered Tom as he prepared to close his eyes as well.

“Wataaaaa!” came the sickening punch from his mother’s fist. Tom was perplexed. He did not know kisses where supposed to be that painful.

“Tom, what the heck are you doing?” asked his mother. “I came here to visit you in this hospital because of the bull incident and the next thing I know, you were all puckered up for a kiss. Tom was still in a daze; no kisses, no Ms. Counselor and instead it’s her mother who just appeared and wrecked his dream to smithereens.

“There’s plenty where that came from,” her mother said in a serious tone while crunching her knuckles in each fist. Young mothers can sometimes be very scary even though they are beautiful.

“I think that’s fine mom. I don’t need seconds. Let me guess, I got hit by the bull really hard right?”

“Yes you were,” her mother said slowly.

Tom was wrapped in bandages and his right leg was in cast. He’s been in the hospital for a month now and missed most of school work because of the bull incident.

“Tom, I want you to listen to me carefully.” her mother said this as she sat near the bed where Tom is. “I would like to know that I’m proud of you for taking good care of your little brother. I understand you are fully aware of his condition and I really thank you for extending your patience to the highest level. It’s just that, me and your dad never wanted your sibling to have autism but I guess it just happened and there is nothing more we can do but to make sure to give Mack all the care and love he needs. He may drive you nuts but I know he never does this out of malice right?”

“I know that mom,” Tom said slowly. “As the older brother, I need to protect him whatever happens. That is a burden for me to carry.”

His mother hugged him gently. “Not a burden honey, not a burden,” came the mother’s soft reply.

“By the way, Mack is here as well!” came the cheery voice of Tom’s mother. Mack suddenly burst inside the room and tackled him with a huge watermelon into Tom’s stomach like what a football player would do in order to score a touchdown. Tom was in shock because of the excruciating pain he felt once again. However, that pain was short lived because of the note taped on the watermelon which he saw and read. He never saw this coming:

“I’m sorry big brother”

Tom snickered silently and petted Mack on his head. I guess things will be back to normal again for the siblings.

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